From the comfort of your home, you can meet our co-founders to gain a clear picture of what being an Aging UP mentor is all about. During an interactive presentation, they will share all about the need for mentoring, the support we provide, and the steps needed to become a mentor. They will also address any questions you have.

So, what are you waiting for?! Sign up today to discover if becoming a mentor is right for you.

Upcoming Orientations (spots are limited and pre-registration is required)

Thursday, June 6| 5:30 – 6:30 pm

For more information, email Program Director Kecia at Kecia@agingup.org or visit agingup.org/become-a-mentor.

Despite the challenges of the coronavirus pandemic, our incredible community of supporters came through in 2020. We are so grateful to grantors Golden 1 Credit Union, Capitol Network and Ticket to Dream Foundation. Their generosity, along with committed supporters and special donations through online fundraisers, enabled us to stay on track with plans to add another mentoring cohort this year!

It’s a pleasure to share that our Mentor Training Cohort 4 has begun! Out of 29 applicants, we welcomed 18 incredible adults. These individuals exude kindness and commitment and meet other criteria necessary to become an Aging UP Mentor.

Cohort 4 is very special. They are the first group to train entirely remotely. Typically, we hold 4 sessions, totaling 20 hours of in-person training. This has been revised to 6 sessions, totaling 14 hours of live virtual training, combined with independent work of completing activities and watching videos. To build community, mentors-in-training can network before and after each session. We also hold weekly Zoom drop-in hours for casual mingling and to discuss topics further.

Not only is this our largest training class, but it is also our most diverse group so far! Ages range from early-20s to mid-70s, and more than 7 ethnicities are represented. While the group is comprised primarily of women, we’re excited to have three strong male role models and will work to improve gender diversity.

Training is still part of our thorough screening process. It is also an opportunity for prospective mentors to ensure that we’re the right program for them. We believe each one has the potential to be a stable, supportive friend who can help a youth from foster care thrive.

We are so excited to continue learning with this group and preparing them to be the best mentors possible. Cohort 4, welcome to our community!

We matched Lexi with Raven* and the first meeting “was just like what training said. It was awkward.” They met in-person only two times before the coronavirus pandemic began. Due to scheduling challenges, it took nearly a month before they connected by phone. Lexi didn’t want that to happen again and remained diligent with texts and calls.

Lexi’s consistency has built trust with Raven. During a call, she noticed that Raven was emotional. With gentle prompting, Raven shared that she was afraid to move and lose her foster parents and also Lexi as her mentor. Lexi immediately assured her, “I can’t make your living situation change but I will be your mentor no matter where you move.” By the end of the call, Raven was laughing and looking forward to an activity they would do together over Zoom.

Not long after, Lexi delivered a pot, dirt and sunflower seeds so the two could meet over Zoom to begin their first planting project together. Since then, they have enjoyed many more conversations and games over Zoom, phone and text. Just as their seedlings are growing so is their mentoring friendship.

Recently, Lexi delivered some of Raven’s favorite snacks and the two watched a movie together over Zoom. They also have plans to cook nachos “with all the fixings” while on a video call together. Social distancing isn’t stopping this Match from having fun!

Lexi found Mentor Training very valuable and often recalls, “It just takes one adult. I tell myself; I can’t change her situation, but I can be there to encourage her.” For anyone interested in mentoring, Lexi says, “Do it!”

We are thankful for Lexi’s kindness, sensitivity, and creativity as a mentor. If Raven moves, we will be in contact with her social worker and new foster family to ensure she and Lexi remain connected and that their friendship continues to blossom.

*Name changed for confidentiality.

Currently, our mentors range in age from mid-twenties to mid-sixties. They have different ethnic and cultural backgrounds and display a wide variety of interests. However, they all share several common traits. They are dependable, patient and open-minded, with youthful, adventurous spirits. They are also good listeners who display consistency and have genuine interests in supporting teenagers. Of course, each mentor also meets our minimum requirements and has successfully completed our trauma-informed, strength-based training.

According to Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, “No matter the source of hardship, the single most common factor for children who end up doing well is having the support of at least one stable and committed relationship with a parent, caregiver, or other adult.”

Mentors are more than a friend or a role model; they help to build resiliency in their youth. Since teens in foster care often have fractured or severed relationships with parents and caregivers, our mentors fill the necessary role of being a caring, committed supportive adult.

Do you have what it takes to be part of our mentoring team? Contact Program Director Kecia at kecia@agingup.org.

There are more than 1,600 children in Sacramento’s foster care system. Though removal from their biological home may have been necessary, youth often suffer mental and physical effects from that trauma and subsequent adversities.

Without proper support, these young people can face futures ranging from low education attainment to long-term physical, emotional and mental health challenges. Statistics state that 50 percent will be homeless, unemployed, or incarcerated within two years of exiting foster care.

Yet there is hope! Our research-based services provide relational connections and other resources that equip youth from foster care to transition into happy, healthy, self-sufficient adults.

“Science shows that children who do well despite serious hardship have had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult. These relationships buffer children from developmental disruption and help them develop resilience…(Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, 2015).”

Because of such research, mentoring is the heart of Aging UP. Mentors commit to be that one – a stable, supportive adult – to a teen from foster care. They are positive role models who offer visibility, support and resources. Mentors expose youth to new worldviews, interpersonal skills and constructive ways to spend free time. Most importantly, they offer support and friendship during turbulent adolescent years.

Because we believe everyone grows through new experiences, positive recreation is one of our pillar services. During one-to-one time with their mentor, youth enjoy activities and explore their interests. We also hold Group meetUPs, where all of our Mentoring Matches (teen with mentor) come together for fun activities in a stigma-free environment.

While fun is an important part of adolescence, we also equip teens toward self-sufficiency. Our UPshops are fun, hands-on workshops where youth learn practical life skills side-by-side with their mentor and their peers.

All of these supports are intentionally designed to give youth from foster care a community where they connect through relationship, grow through new experiences and are empowered to succeed.

Each Mentoring Match enjoys time together differently. Our youth are encouraged to drive the types of activities they do with their mentor. Before we match a youth with a mentor, we take many things into consideration. The main criteria include the youth’s interests, personality and any requests they may have.

Once we pair a Mentoring Match together, we continue to monitor and support them. As their friendship grows, it’s amazing to see and hear about all the fun they have together. Check out some of these mentoring moments:

“

We went hiking, even though it was hot and uphill, we survived with a few needed breaks. We dipped our toes in the ice-cold river then got some Mexican food before heading home.

We played 15 hands of Uno at a coffee shop. It was a BLAST! She had to teach me since it’s been over 20 years since I played last (LOL!) 

We went to an event at Sac State. After enjoying music and getting a bunch of cool SWAG, we just walked around campus. It was really cool to share a bit of my college experience and it provided a space for her to share her dreams and goals too! This was probably one of my favorite experiences with her!

We went to a tennis court and it was great to just whack the ball and have fun with it.

We saw his first concert together so it was really cool! It may have inspired him to start drumming again.

“

We know, and research confirms that youth who connect with a mentor have significant and statistically better outcomes. If you’re interested in being a positive adult role model and a consistent, supportive friend to a youth with experience in foster care, register for a one-hour, no-obligation orientation by contacting Program Director Kecia at kecia@agingup.org.

Fall 2019 Orientations from 6 to 7 pm:

Thursday, September 5 |Natomas

Thursday, September 26 |Elk Grove

Wednesday, October 2 |South Sacramento

Thursday, October 3 |Arden Arcade

Exact location will be shared in registration confirmation email.

Sometimes the best tips for mentoring, whether formally, like in our program, or informally, come from sources beyond child welfare. In this case, we draw from The Habits Academy, an online course developed for executives.

Tip 1: To change your habits, change your identity.

Our youth often become a product of the system. When connecting with a young person, especially from foster care, it’s important to focus on the positive traits that they identify. Let’s take Jolene as an example. She introduces herself as a “typical [foster] kid who kind of likes painting and drawing.” Reframe this with her by stating, “Jolene, you are an artist!” As often as is appropriate, reinforce that positive identity.

Tip 2: Stack the new habit on top of a pre-established habit.

Developing new habits can feel insurmountable, especially for young people dealing with so much change and inconsistency. Here’s what stacking looks like: If the youth wants to commit to doing more physical activity, encourage them to do just 20 jumping jacks before their get ready routine. Same goes for mindfulness exercises—suggest that they take 5 minutes before sleeping to reflect on the positives of the day and what good things are in store for tomorrow. With repetition, these activities become automatic in a short time.

Tip 3:  Focus on the simple act that sets the stage for a good habit.

It might be difficult to sit down and write a term paper, but it’s often a lot easier to begin by clearing a workspace to simply brainstorm. Forget about the end product at first and a significant barrier can be removed.

Tip 4: Focus less on goals and more on building a new system and approach.

Goals are important. But if goals are not designed to lead to system change, bad habits come right back. We’ll use dieting as an example. If a teen states their weight is causing issues and they want to get to a healthier weight, help them replace a maximum-number-of calories-a-day goal with a  focus on what they can do to promote overall health, such as daily physical activities, omitting sugary drinks, and eating less junk food.

Tip 5: Praise yourself for your bad habit days.

Reverting to a bad habit is natural. For youth who have experienced trauma, the guilt associated with slipping into a bad habit can be a downward spiral. Undo that damage by encouraging even the most minimal thing to make some progress. If your youth committed to limiting screen time and being more active, but then binge-watched all of the Marvel movies over the weekend, encourage him to start again by spending even a few moments outside or exercising to get back into the swing of things.

Mentors who use these five tips have a big advantage in helping to develop life skills and healthy habits in young people. These habits allow them to be better prepared for successful adulthood–this is what our program is all about!

Article by Program Liaison Steve Kempster, LCSW

Aging UP’s trauma-informed approach focuses on building healthy relationships. For youth who have limited community—as it is for most in foster care—we know that compassionate mentors can make a meaningful difference by boosting positive relationships and affirming interactions in the lives of young people.

Acclaimed child trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry states, “Positive relational interactions regulate the brain’s stress response systems and help create positive and healing [states of mind].”

These positive relationships, in turn, calm the over-reactive stress responses that Dr. Nadine Burke Harris discussed in the first post of this series.

Such positive relationships also lead to enhanced resilience. As psychologist Diana Fosha shares in her book The Body keeps Score, “The roots of resilience are to be found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other.”  

Unfortunately, youth in foster care rarely have such people in their lives; mostly, they are surrounded by paid professionals. While we do not intend to belittle the efforts of those hard-working and dedicated individuals, we do wish to emphasize that our youth need positive, committed, personal relationships with a caring teacher, coach, neighbor, mentor and a host of others who are not paid to be in their lives. Dr. Perry highlights such relationships as a powerful therapeutic impact.

Dr. Perry also makes a vivid comparison to spokes on a wheel: the more positive connections and relationships a young person has, the more established and supportive their spokes are to support their whole self.

Once an Aging UP mentor establishes a meaningful friendship with their youth, this relationship has the potential of becoming a conduit to other vital community supports. Their impact, then, increases greatly as the youth becomes more and more connected to their community and to people who understand and earnestly care about them.

Continue to follow along as Part III will explore a creative approach to connect with youth and how establishing good habits further develops positive relationships.

Article by Program Liaison Steve Kempster, LCSW

This was also our second group event with Mentoring Matches from both of our first two cohorts. Knowing that we had new Matches that are still in early relational development stages along with Matches that have been together for almost a year, brought additional rays of joy.

It’s not always easy to get teenagers to wake up early on a weekend, but even with our 10 a.m. start, there was great energy. Our group had private use of the entire facility. We began with an introduction and learned that two teens had never played laser tag and that several mentors had not played in 10 or more years. After pastries, fruit and juice, the friendly staff introduced us to the laser vests, guns and rules of play. We then entered the laser arena to enjoy a thrilling game of running, squatting, hiding and firing lasers at one another. 

The activity level was certainly high. After our first game, everyone was rather warm, so we cooled down with more snacks and some arcade games. Most of the Matches wanted to play laser tag again. During this game, our group decided on team play. The teams were assigned based on the vest that was grabbed. For the majority of the game, the blue team overtook the second floor; however, they still lost to the red team by points. It ended with laughs, high-fives and some friendly pointing as the group eyed the scoreboard.

The morning continued with mingling over arcade games and air hockey. One of our mentors also generously covered the costs of bumper cars for those who wanted to experience that activity. It was great to see so much interaction. Youth related with their mentors and one another. A few of the teens had previously lived in the same placement and they were able to reconnect during this event.

Group meetUPs are one of our core program services because of the many benefits they provide. They are designed to offer new and fun recreation that allows youth from foster care to enjoy typical teen activities within a stigma-free environment. They also encourage physical movement or creativity, which serves as a relief from everyday adolescent troubles and the additional stressors often associated with living in foster care. Finally, group events enhance mentoring friendships as youth and mentor engage through shared experiences.

The smiles, as well as post-event evaluations, let us know this event was a bright light to all who attended.